Happy New Year = New Birth... Right?

This was submitted by Reader Lily and Reader Cheryl at almost the same exact time!  And just NO!!!!  They say it's currently up on etsy for sale RIGHT NOW!!  Quick while they are still available!  Go get the perfect baby shower gift!  Show that Mom to be what she's going to be in for!  My question is do they also have a c-section doll?  Cause that's the one I need.

TP cozy

You've talked about them, hinted about sending in pictures of them, and now I've got one! A genuine toilet paper cozy! It's classic grandma with the doll, tons of pink everywhere and the need to cover all surfaces of the house with yarn. This one is even sitting on a crocheted doily! So next time you're visiting grandma's house and you need a new roll of toilet paper, just look for it under something that's been crocheted.

Merry Christmas To All!

This Christmas tree was submitted by Reader Lisa!  This is DEFINITELY the ultimate in redneck Christmas decorations.  That or a college student.  I will admit though that it had to take FOREVER!  Totally reminds me of the "Beer Wall" my friends in college had.  If you knocked it over there was not happy consequences!

Toenails Gone Bad

Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for cute little flowers and glitter on your toes, but full on snow scenes?  Really??  Who is going to get close enough to actually see the artwork?  Who would WANT to get close enough to see.  Plus... It's WINTER... put on some socks!  It's cold out there!

Budget ornaments

Firstly let me say that if you have any children in elementary school or younger, this absolutely BELONGS on your tree. It's one of those rite of passage things. However, if you do not, I don't care how small your budget is for ornaments, you should not be making them out of empty toilet paper rolls. Yes, I know that you can make all sorts of cute things like Santa Claus, snowmen, toy soldiers, etc., but please look for decorations in other rooms besides the bathroom.

Redneck Christmas Tree

Reader Leah of mommyish.net submitted this just last night, and it was so great I just had to post it today (even though I have other great submissions in my inbox!) 

"Hey Billy Bob, what should we use as ornaments this year?"

"Hmmm... Besty Jo, what about these beer cans?"

"Billy Bob!  We did that last year!  We can't do it again until NEXT year!"

"Ok, I've got some extra cars in the yard here, why don't we use the headlights?"

"Or... THE WHEELS!"

"Oh Betsy Jo, I'm so glad your my wife/cousin!"

Dressing up candles

Hark! The angry choirboys sing?! Not to sure about the appeal of this craft. Looks like if I want to light the candle (aka his head), he's going to bite me. I did mention that this was a candle? Aren't you supposed to keep flammables away from flames? So why is this candle sitting on a stand covered in fabric?

There's No Place Like Under the Sea

So... um.... yeah.  Thanks Reader Jill for submitting a site with some wonderful gems like this!  There are definitely more, but you'll just have to wait for them!  I definitely debated over titles for this post, one being "Be careful or she'll drop a fish on you too!"  Um, Sarah?  Wasn't that supposed to be HOUSE not fish?  Yes, yes it was...  Or there was "Walking around on those?  What do you call them?  Oh FEET!"  I do like what I went with though.

More toilet seat art

I don't know what it is, but I'm fascinated with toilet seat art. I never thought of this piece of furniture adding so much to my decor. Here's a bit of potty humor with Santa falling through the toilet seat, which now that I think about it is really odd. Isn't Santa supposed to be ... pleasantly plump? Just how did he get down there? And is it really so far down to the bottom that he needs to clutch to the edges of the seat?

Ode to a Dog

Oh Fluffy, how we miss you.  You will forever live on in ornament form so our family will never be far from you (except the other 11 months of the year).  Cause really, everyone should have a portrait of their dog on their tree.

Crochet gone wild

I suppose the idea is good--keep your young and small children warm during the cold weather. And you'll be able to snap their belts without having bulky jackets or blankets to deal with. But I think that it could be better. When I think of crochet or knitting or whatever this is, I don't think warm and cuddly. I see holes and feel drafts. In this crochet nightmare the maker was either trying to make it unisex or disguise all the stains this is going to get. Did I mention that you can get a matching hat to complete the ensemble? Looks more like a clown costume to me.

Inside the Mind Of a Bad Crafter

"What can I do to really make this ornament special?  OK, I need it to sparkle and shine... tinsel!  OK, where can I put the tinsel... well... it's not working on the outside, it just kind of hangs there, hmmm.... OH!  Inside is perfect!  Now that the outside is bare, we can't have that!  Everyone likes flowers right?  Oh good.  It's sooooo beautiful now!

Be Creative

Here's a creative ornament (ha ha). I assume that this is a giant beehive or else I'm supposed to use creative thinking to figure this one out. But an ornament is not an ornament unless it has pom poms on it. Wait! I do see some glittery pom poms! This is a real ornament!

Do You Hear The Bells On Christmas Day?

Reader Sue Ann sent in some wonderful pictures from a craft fair of some sort that she went to.  We'll be featuring a few of them over the next couple days.  This is my favorite, cause I just love stuff that you have no idea what it's really supposed to be.  Eyes?  Mountains?  Boobs?  You decide!  Every time a bell rings, a crafter gets ideas for ugly things!

By Extremely Popular Demand.... The Pad Slippers

We must have received this submission about 30 + times!  Thank you to everyone for thinking of us when this arrived in your inbox.  For those who haven't seen these little gems before... I only have really one thing to say about them... At least they aren't painted red.

On a totally separate note, for our craft loving friends, Ailene and I have some friends that are going through a hard time...  The Barkdull family has been awaiting Matt's kidney transplant for a while because of various complications. He has been on dialysis for a long time which has created its own hardships. He always has a great attitude through all of his medical problems.  You would never even know that he is sick.  It looks like the kidney transplant is going to happen after Christmas at the end of December or first of January. Matt will obviously have to take some time off to recovery and it will be a difficult time for the entire family.  Our friend has set up an etsy shop to sell various crafts that are very cute (and not at all made of any feminine hygiene products).  Please visit the shop by clicking here and pick some cute things up to help a family. 

All proceeds from purchases between December 1st and 31st will go directly to the family to help pay for transplant costs and expenses.

Redneck Christmas

For all the men out there, here's something that you can be proud to hang on your tree. Empty shotgun shells that have been recycled and put to a new use--as Christmas lights! You've got both red and white; so festive! And there's nothing better than having the these casings strung over the mantlepiece under a nativity scene or on the tree with your wife's antique ornaments. Make it your newest family tradition!

WAIT! Don't Carve THAT Bird!

This lovely craft was submitted by reader Allyson.  This is just wrong on so many levels!  First when I'm eating my Thanksgiving Turkey I really don't want to think about checking for a child underneath!  Why would you put your baby through the pain of wondering if it's going to be eaten too?  Poor baby!

Turkey hat

This is reminiscent of the cat on the hat post I made earlier this year. Someone must have a lot of spare straw hats laying around. If you've made a cat hat and you still have extra, make a turkey hat! True, you can only keep this decoration up for less than a month, but I guarantee that people will notice it. And, incidentally, does this turkey have an afro wig or is it just me?

Turkey on fire

I've seen all sorts of vegetable turkeys made from apples, potatoes and pumpkins. So the fact that this is a pumpkin turkey isn't that strange. I guess the unused pumpkins need to be used somehow and better on the table than blown to bits by teenagers. What sets this one apart is that the feathers are actually long taper candles. So before sitting down to dinner you can light this turkey on fire and watch his beautiful "feathers" grow shorter and shorter. Just hope that one doesn't take it literally that all turkeys are supposed to be cooked or ignited.

Finally, A Thanksgiving Centerpiece to be Proud Of!

Since I wanted you to be able to get a head start on creating this centerpiece I had to post it today.  Of course this is made out of painted tampons.  What holiday table would be complete without feminine hygiene products intermingled with all the yummy tasty food.  Cause it TOTALLY doesn't ruin my appetite, right?

WWED?

Whoa! I completely forgot that time was supposed to come to a standstill because a certain movie came out today!! Yeah, I'm talking about Twilight. Let me get to the point. I'm not a crazy, obsessed fan. I read the books, liked the books just fine and will continue my life as normal from here on out. I won't be naming my future children 'Bella,' 'Edward' or 'Jacob,' I won't be getting a tattoo, or multiple tattoos, of phrases from the book or of the actors who portrayed the characters and I certainly won't be getting or making the craft I have featured here. These shoes, and the creator has several different kinds, are just a step above obsessive. It's not wearing your heart on your sleeve, but on your feet. And I don't know about the rest of you, but I step in some pretty gross things throughout my day. The collage of phrases, pictures and hearts are just too much for me and looking at this makes me just a bit sick. Good luck to the rest of you and just one bit of advice. If you are going to make a craft for Twilight/Edward, just ask yourself 'WWED [What would Edward do]?' 'cause I guarantee he won't be wearing these shoes!!

Open Turkey season!

Because I have so many wonderful Thanksgiving crafts, I thought I would begin a week early so that every one of them has a chance to shine before the Big Day. This look like a glove probably filled with gelatin that, according to the site where I picked it up, was supposed to be unmolded from the glove and stood on end. But things didn't go as planned. But either way it's a good thing for us because it's a truly terrible Thanksgiving centerpiece. I especially love the label--I wouldn't have known without it!

Birds of a Feather

I was going to save this little gem until December (it being a wreath and all), but I decorated my house for Christmas yesterday, and thought it was fitting.  This was submitted by a reader (and I apologize, because I can't remember which one).  I believe the reader stated that this was at a friends house!  I'm sorry reader that you have very strange friends.  So lets get to the actual wreath.... ummm... first there is a full on BIRD sitting in it!  A BIRD people!  Not to mention the color or the generous use of feathers.  I weep to think how many birds had to suffer for this person to have such a wreath.

Specialty toilet paper

So it's not exactly making your own toilet paper (but I bet there is a crafty person out there that has) but it's really close. It's making your plain toilet paper into something really special! You can create all sorts of phrases to really make your toilet paper an integral part of your bathroom. Something that people will be talking about, say, around the Thanksgiving table like the example above. Maybe you could emblazon your toilet paper to say things like "Your home for the holidays" or "Let it go, let it go, let it go." Can you see all the possibilities!? They are endless!

Washing in style

Washing after the family is never a glamourous job ... Until now! Turn those icky, yellow scrubbing gloves into some fashionable. Laura B., who sent in this little number, points out that the fabric on the end is a plastic shower curtain and who wouldn't love the darling rickrack! And these can be made to suit anyone's taste! And after you're all done cleaning, why not leave them out near the sink to show off how well they match your kitchen's decor.

If Someone Can Figure This Out ... I'm Impressed!

Really?  I have no idea what this is even supposed to be??  I keep trying to figure it out and I keep coming up short.  It has hands, this I know.... and possibly some legs?  There is just nothing I can figure out about the rest of it.  Please I beg you!  Put me out of my misery and tell me what it is (or supposed to be I guess).

No Free Hand Outs!

While I must admit that I'm impressed with the handiwork (pardon the pun), It's still pretty darn ugly.  This, among many other food art items was sent in to us by reader Janet.  Because, you know, when I'm eating bread, I like to pretend it's a human hand.

Blast from the past

Are you an old-fashioned kind of woman? Want a one-of-a-kind experience that you'll never forget? Try these homemade sanitary pads! They're made from soft flannel and are designed to handle light, normal and heavy flows. It's safe for the environment, comes it all sorts of fashionable prints and colors and is (probably) a lot softer. Sold on it yet?

Hmm. Not me. Firstly I do not trust myself to make something that would be critical to me not being embarrassed during that special time. This is one craft that cannot go wrong. At all. And how about cleaning up? Yech! Can you imagine bringing plastic baggies to haul these babies home and getting them cleaned up for the next day? So, though I'm all for being a bit greener, I'm going to stick to disposable feminine hygiene and I don't feel guilty about that at all.

Thanks Kathy W. for sending this in!

Forget Your 4 Shirts: Make ONE!

Because I know we are all looking to consolidate our closets, now we have the solution.  Take the shirts and make one really weird looking one!  The sad thing is the shirts she destroyed actually look pretty cute, the one she made... not so much.  There is just so much wrong with this craft it's hard to know where to begin!  First there is the ruffle at the bottom.  Is she going for a really short mini skirt look?  What is the point?  Then you have the vest looking thing which is then attached to solid pink sleeves.  Lastly to top it off... to give you the best idea of the fashion sense is the pants chosen to accompany the "shirt"... couldn't find some blue jeans?  Decided to go for the clash.... OK.

Skull art

I know that we've talked about skull art as appropriate for Day of the Dead, but I'm not sure about this. A real skull off some who-knows-what rodent and embellished with a bow? Eh ... no. Though I think what really makes it great are the two big front teeth that are visible. What do you think?

In Honor Of Yesterday's Election

This fabulous wreath is the perfect capper to the huge turnout of voters yesterday.  It looks like someone took parts of a really foofy wedding dress and added some stars.  Not only are they stars though, they are stars WITHIN the stars!  Genius!  I really don't get the circle within the star though, that may be a bit much, and really serve no purpose.

The incredible wearable egg

And again this is another accessory that I can't imagine why someone would want to wear. Is there a lovely bacon and pancake sweater to match? Did your grandmother always fix you fried eggs and maybe this is the perfect reminder of her? I don't get it and won't be wearing any eggs around my neck anytime soon.

Glove? Purse? You Decide

Ahhh, older ladies strike again, as these are the only type of women that would even think of this strange looking purse.  The hand is complete with nail polish, a wedding ring, and a handkerchief!  It doesn't look large enough to actually hold anything, and would anybody really even CARRY this around.  Wow!  What a lovely hand you have there!  Ugh, just wrong!

Happy Halloween!

And what better way to celebrate than with the craft that just goes too far. These ghosts are easy to make and easy to hang since they already come with strings. Need another hint? They aren't found in the seasonal Halloween department, try looking in the feminine hygiene aisle. Got it? Yeah, I think it's pretty gross too. Enjoy your Halloween! And thanks to Natalie for sending it in!

A Contest After My Own Heart

Reader Natalie W. (also the owner of Chicken Coop Crafts (ad on the left!)) submitted this page to us.  It is an ugliest pillow contest!  While I couldn't copy ALL of the wonderfully ugly pillows, I did pick my absolute favorite.  First is the hideously large mushrooms.  Now if that wasn't enough there are the HUGE yarn balls on the four corners.  I fear the room that this pillow is supposed to go with!  Someone MUST have been high when creating this!

Ugly Halloween sweater

What's worse than an ugly Christmas sweater? A Halloween one! Why would one think to do the background in lime green? Was there a sale on green or is it that black might not show off the dangling feet of the pumpkins, which are, of course, the best thing about it. Watch out librarians and grade school teachers .... there's another holiday to celebrate with an ugly sweater! If you see any of these tragedies, please send us pictures!

More Disgusting Art

Hide the kiddos today....I thought I'd continue the condom crafts with this little gem sent in by Cindy A.  I know that when my husband and I get into a fight, I would just love a bouquet of these instead of beautiful red roses.  This is just sooo much better, right??  At least they attempted to hide the tip, right?  In the immortal words of Joey Tribiani... "EW!  EW EW EW!"

Hair elastics

This hair elastic, shown mostly unfinished, is made from a condom. You can make them yourself! Since condoms are very elastic, someone seemed to think that they would make great hair elastics (don't know how they made that connection). China is already starting to manufacture them from condoms that don't pass final inspection. Guess that's another great way to recycle!

More Recycling Madness

 

Again, we go just a little bit too far in our efforts to go "green".  Every time you pick up your kids they will start craving Caprisun, and wonder why you are holding out on them (since you clearly have plenty to share).  Next time I'm taking a drink I'll have to think to myself ... but will this make a good bag?

Unidentifiable squeaky toy

Thanks to Katie C. who found this treasure. It's labeled as a squeaky toy and that's about all I can figure out as well. It's a bit horse-like, but then maybe it's camel because of the lump on it's back. Or maybe it doesn't matter because it's a dog toy ...? Whatever it is, it's ugly and definitely deserves to be mentioned here.

Mp3 What?

A new low has been reached in electronic gear.  The one thing I'm worried about is where do the headphones plug in?  Please don't tell me in the back!  The other thing that I don't GET about this little gem is why does it have green legs?  Really?  could you not make the whole thing white?  Or at least somewhat resembling an actual animal instead of some animal that has been running through green paint recently (or worse has had a horrible injury that has left him with gangrene)

More object dress-up

These lighters are in the Halloween costume, ready to light some jack o' lanterns! I actually found these on a site that suggested they be used for weddings. I suppose a good wedding isn't complete without a few fires. My favorite is the one on the far left. She seems to be busting out of her costume. Maybe she would be more at home on the honeymoon-- or a bar.

The Halloween Horror Continues...

Who knows what terrible accident this stuffed dog?  has endured.  It was tragic though for sure.  What I don't get about this animal is, again, the market?  Who in their right mind would give this to a child?  Here is the scenario I picture...What happened to fluffy Mommy?...  Here honey, this is an image of what has happened to your dog.  I'm sorry.  Poor child will be scarred for life.

Severed finger pen

I know that Halloween is coming up soon and that everyone is decorating the homes, yards and offices with all sorts of hideous things. What's really annoying are those that take holiday decorating to the extreme. If a regular Joe decorates the yard with a few headstones and pumpkins, the Halloween extremist decorates every inch of the yard down to the last leaf. I like to think that this craft belongs to the Halloween extremists. I don't think that pens need to be decorated to show holiday spirit, but I'm sure that there are some out there that do. To each his own.

I Apologize in Advance

OK, I'm sorry, I had to do it.  I know many of you actually love this look, but I totally hate it.  Not the baby of course.  The baby is super duper cute!  It's the monstrosity sitting atop the baby's head.  It is almost the entire size of the baby's face!  I can think of better ways to prove that my child is a girl, and I'm not that creative, than a giant flower getting ready to eat her face.  Again, I'm sorry for those that love this, I've been silent about it for way too long!  I must speak out against babies with giant flowers attached to their heads!