Happy Halloween!

And what better way to celebrate than with the craft that just goes too far. These ghosts are easy to make and easy to hang since they already come with strings. Need another hint? They aren't found in the seasonal Halloween department, try looking in the feminine hygiene aisle. Got it? Yeah, I think it's pretty gross too. Enjoy your Halloween! And thanks to Natalie for sending it in!

A Contest After My Own Heart

Reader Natalie W. (also the owner of Chicken Coop Crafts (ad on the left!)) submitted this page to us.  It is an ugliest pillow contest!  While I couldn't copy ALL of the wonderfully ugly pillows, I did pick my absolute favorite.  First is the hideously large mushrooms.  Now if that wasn't enough there are the HUGE yarn balls on the four corners.  I fear the room that this pillow is supposed to go with!  Someone MUST have been high when creating this!

Ugly Halloween sweater

What's worse than an ugly Christmas sweater? A Halloween one! Why would one think to do the background in lime green? Was there a sale on green or is it that black might not show off the dangling feet of the pumpkins, which are, of course, the best thing about it. Watch out librarians and grade school teachers .... there's another holiday to celebrate with an ugly sweater! If you see any of these tragedies, please send us pictures!

More Disgusting Art

Hide the kiddos today....I thought I'd continue the condom crafts with this little gem sent in by Cindy A.  I know that when my husband and I get into a fight, I would just love a bouquet of these instead of beautiful red roses.  This is just sooo much better, right??  At least they attempted to hide the tip, right?  In the immortal words of Joey Tribiani... "EW!  EW EW EW!"

Hair elastics

This hair elastic, shown mostly unfinished, is made from a condom. You can make them yourself! Since condoms are very elastic, someone seemed to think that they would make great hair elastics (don't know how they made that connection). China is already starting to manufacture them from condoms that don't pass final inspection. Guess that's another great way to recycle!

More Recycling Madness

 

Again, we go just a little bit too far in our efforts to go "green".  Every time you pick up your kids they will start craving Caprisun, and wonder why you are holding out on them (since you clearly have plenty to share).  Next time I'm taking a drink I'll have to think to myself ... but will this make a good bag?

Unidentifiable squeaky toy

Thanks to Katie C. who found this treasure. It's labeled as a squeaky toy and that's about all I can figure out as well. It's a bit horse-like, but then maybe it's camel because of the lump on it's back. Or maybe it doesn't matter because it's a dog toy ...? Whatever it is, it's ugly and definitely deserves to be mentioned here.

Mp3 What?

A new low has been reached in electronic gear.  The one thing I'm worried about is where do the headphones plug in?  Please don't tell me in the back!  The other thing that I don't GET about this little gem is why does it have green legs?  Really?  could you not make the whole thing white?  Or at least somewhat resembling an actual animal instead of some animal that has been running through green paint recently (or worse has had a horrible injury that has left him with gangrene)

More object dress-up

These lighters are in the Halloween costume, ready to light some jack o' lanterns! I actually found these on a site that suggested they be used for weddings. I suppose a good wedding isn't complete without a few fires. My favorite is the one on the far left. She seems to be busting out of her costume. Maybe she would be more at home on the honeymoon-- or a bar.

The Halloween Horror Continues...

Who knows what terrible accident this stuffed dog?  has endured.  It was tragic though for sure.  What I don't get about this animal is, again, the market?  Who in their right mind would give this to a child?  Here is the scenario I picture...What happened to fluffy Mommy?...  Here honey, this is an image of what has happened to your dog.  I'm sorry.  Poor child will be scarred for life.

Severed finger pen

I know that Halloween is coming up soon and that everyone is decorating the homes, yards and offices with all sorts of hideous things. What's really annoying are those that take holiday decorating to the extreme. If a regular Joe decorates the yard with a few headstones and pumpkins, the Halloween extremist decorates every inch of the yard down to the last leaf. I like to think that this craft belongs to the Halloween extremists. I don't think that pens need to be decorated to show holiday spirit, but I'm sure that there are some out there that do. To each his own.

I Apologize in Advance

OK, I'm sorry, I had to do it.  I know many of you actually love this look, but I totally hate it.  Not the baby of course.  The baby is super duper cute!  It's the monstrosity sitting atop the baby's head.  It is almost the entire size of the baby's face!  I can think of better ways to prove that my child is a girl, and I'm not that creative, than a giant flower getting ready to eat her face.  Again, I'm sorry for those that love this, I've been silent about it for way too long!  I must speak out against babies with giant flowers attached to their heads!

Not what it appears

Yeah, it looks just like that, doesn't it? And laid out so prettily on a blue plate probably in the middle of a beautiful table. I don't know about you, but if I find poo in the living room, I blame the dog or my kids and remove it immediately. So, if you were wondering, it's mashed up and melted crayons that were painted to look like this ON PURPOSE. Take that in. Someone wanted this to look like poo on purpose. I don't know why anyone would want to showcase poo, but if you do, now you know the secret of how to make it. I mean, how to make it more hygenic for display. You should probably continue to throw out those made by the dog and toddlers.

Tech Meets Crafts

 

I'm a very techy person.  I know computer components very well.  This is WAY too far.  Again with people trying to clothe things that do not need clothing!  I would be willing to say this one even goes a little too far simply because the cooler you keep computer parts the better they will work over time.  You don't want to WARM them up!!  Plus.... it's really ugly.  :)

World's ugliest necklace

Oh yes, the world's ugliest necklace. Doll heads. And there actually seems to have been some thought put into it because of the way the heads go from small to big. I think the beads in between each head really add some class. Like big purple tumors growing in the sides of each head. Can't get any uglier than this!

Cause October Means Scary!

Now I don't know about you, but in October I'm not really looking for pumpkin snowmen (or women due to the long "hair").  I'm thinking this person just doesn't want anyone to cross the bridge because if I saw those on my way somewhere, I'd probably turn and run the other way!

Unusual ski mask

This is perfect for those days when you just didn't have any time to put on any makeup in the morning. It would look much nicer, instead of the garish colors and patterns on the one above, if it was stitched to look like you did have makeup on! Think of all the time you could save! No need to even wash your hair! And it would work for men too. Stitch one to look as though you are clean shaven. Even better would be one with tons of hair. Just make the yarn on the top to cover a bit more area and have it match your own hair color. It's perfect!

Just in Case You Didn't Smell Enough Like Smoke

These handy earrings can get you through your down time between smokes.  If you get REALLY desperate, I'm sure you could just light one up instead.  Then you'd have to make your earrings all over again though, so watch out.  Really though?  REALLY??  Cigarette earrings?  The world really has lost it.

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's ...

LINT!? For heaven's sake, people, lint scultpures?! Just looking at it makes me feel itchy all over. Thank goodness it's not a sweater or something. Wait, did I just give the crafties more ideas on how to use their dryer lint?

Put DOWN the Craft Jewels

The main thing that frightens me about this "cell phone" is that I would seriously cut myself while trying to answer/talk on the phone.  I'm not only a craft klutz, I'm a real honest to goodness fully qualified klutz.  People would start thinking I got a cat from all the scratches that would end up on my face as a result of talking on this "phone"  Really the only thing left to say about this particular craft is... enough is enough!  Put the glue DOWN!

Fruit overalls

Choosing just one title for this was difficult. I had a lot of ideas. Like "Needles gone wild" or "'G' rated pear." Or "'G' rated or G-string?" What do you think of "Pear porn" or "End pear nakedness!"

So obviously this person knit something for every person, animal and soap dispenser in the house and decided that the fruit was next. Be careful naked furniture, accessories and knick-knacks! You'll be next ...

Jamie's Practicing Voodoo

Reader Jamie submitted today's craft!  This is one thing I was really looking forward to on this blog, someone who tried to copy the picture of something and had it turn out horribly horribly wrong.  This is the corn husk doll disaster of 2007.  She says that her's turned out like voodoo dolls, and I couldn't agree more!  They are straight out of the Blair Witch Project.  So thank you Jamie for being as completely uncrafty as I am!  A for effort!

Hey! Watch where you point that thing!

By looking at the shape of this hat maybe those with ponytails will find this hat particularly attractive. I can't think of another reason why this hat would have a defined point in the back. And don't get me started on the owl! Why an owl, I don't know. And it seems as though the mastermind of this hat couldn't even bear to model it herself. She had to get a mannequin head to keep her identity safe.