No, This Was NOT Made By Your Kindergartner

Yes, I found these beads for SALE on etsy.  I have no idea who would pay for these?  I would totally cherish them if they were made by my child, but to actually go online... see them... and go... YES I have to have those!  They would go perfect with my hot pink pants from 1984!

Panties

I think these are the ugliest things I've ever seen. Knit panties?! With ruffles? Doesn't sound sexy to me at all ... (hmm, what can I do to make my butt look bigger? How about ruffles all around my butt and thighs!) and even sounds a bit scratchy. This actually looks like those Barbie dresses that I had as a kid because I couldn't afford to get the store bought stuff. And that's not exactly a compliment.

Keep Your Wrists WARM!

Another treasure from my favorite friend... etsy.  Not only are these the most gorgeous wrist warmers ever, they are practical for use as a pot holder or doilies.  The lime green is just icing on the cake. 

Mmmm ... tasty

Okay, I'm not sure that this is exactly a horrible craft because it's put together very nice. I do, however, doubt why this craft was created in the first place. Seems like a lot of time for an April Fool's joke, hours and hours of work for one minute of entertainment. And I can't imagine keeping it on the table for decoration. Dunno. Either way, it does look pretty good. Maybe I'll have pancakes for dinner tonight.

Vegetable Garden... oops! I Mean Vegetable GARBAGE

Since I haven't posted in a while, I decided last night I needed to go looking for more bad crafts.  Etsy is just a treasure trove I tell you!  Not two minutes into my search I find these little beauties.  I was speaking with my blogging partner about them over IM, and it wasn't until she said that it looked like they were pooping garbage bags did I realize what they were!  The title of it was grocery bag holders, but I thought it meant the giant carrot was supposed to hold your groceries!  Shows you what I know.  Just reminds me of So I Married An Ax Murderer... "Excuse me I believe I ordered the LARGE Corn on the Cob... HELLO!"

"Peter, Peter the pumpkin eater ..."

This reminds me of the nursery rhyme that goes "Peter, Peter the pumpkin eater; Had a wife and couldn't keep her; He put her in a pumpkin shell; And there he kept her very well." She looks exactly as though she's been stuffed in a pumpkin shell. It must be the voluminous sweater that covers chest, waist, and thighs in it's massiveness and the horrid orange color. This thing is so huge that it even covers the pouch at her waist without an unsightly bulge! If you want to look as unfeminine at possible, this could be your chance.

Inappropriate bathroom decor?

It's the craft that someone probably made while using the bathroom, trying to utilize all their time into productive time. Which would explain why they just can't get their mind out of the toilet, literally. This crafter decided to make homemade toilet paper, just for decoration mind, and a little pile of poo. What you don't see in this picture is that the poo has a hole in the bottom so you can stuff it with potpourri. So that means that they must want this poo to be out in the open AND that they want to you smell it. Not my idea of good taste, but I'm sure that you would have a lot of people laughing and questioning you about it should you decide to go for this decor.

The Dark Side of crafting

I have been laughing hysterically every time I glimpse this photo. I love it for all the horrid crafting ingeniousness of it (aluminum Guinness cans) and for the person who put the worlds of Star Wars and crochet needles together at last. But mostly I love it for the man who would dare wear it and get his picture taken with it on. Can you imagine the conversation this would inspire?

"Luke, I am your father."

(Luke flushes with shame) "Dad, take that off. You're embarrassing me."

"Come on, I drank a lot for this. Show the helmet a little respect."

(Luke mumbles and walks away).

The Creep Factor Multiplies to the Nth Degree.

What do you get the serial killer that has everything?  A wreath of dead bodies!  This is still left over from the Christmas Decorations, but is just too good to pass up.  This craft is just wayyyyy too creepy.

Image found at www.zieak.com with credit to Ryan McFarland.  Submitted by Reader SLC.

For Women Only

We've brought you homemade sanitary pads and now we have found homemade tampons. You heard me. Homemade tampons. Wingnut submitted this photo to us and also posed an interesting question ... How do you get them in? The least of my worries since I'm not going to using them at all. Why? That's all I have to ask. Put your crochet/knitting talents to a better use.