The Bronzed Cinnamon Roll!

 

Honey, your rolls were just so darn good today I took one and had it bronzed.  This wonderful treat can forever be remembered! 

Frosty the Crazy Ornament, Was a Jolly Happy Soul

“Psstt… hey you over there?”

“Uh HA HA HA.. UH HA HA HA… YEAH?”

“How is it that we are supposed to be snowmen when the only resemblance to a snow man is the fact that we are white with orange noses??… I mean WHERE THE HECK IS THE REST OF MY BODY???  How is anyone supposed to know I’m a SNOWMAN!”

“Uh HA HA HA… Uh HA HA HA….Who knows!  UH HA HA HA HA HA HA”

“ugh… I mean really?  since when do snowmen have pink cheeks?  WE ARE MADE OF SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Uh HA HA HA… Uh HA HA HA….UH HA HA HA HA HA HA”

“Thanks buddy, you’ve been super helpful”

Contestant for ugliest hat

So many ways to make fun of this craft--Princess Leia's hairstyle gone wild, a pillow tied to a baby's head, baby hammerhead shark ... I just don't know which one to go with. And do the rest of you see a little doo-hickey, mabobby at the top of the hat? What is up with that? Trying to make it more like an alien instead of a monster? The poor kid, he doesn't even know what's tied to his head or he wouldn't be looking so complacent.

Thanks to Shaylah D. for having enough sense to send this into us!

For the dogs

Pillows probably make up more bad crafts that just about any other category (excepting knitting. Go Knitting!), so it's not really a surprise that we've got another pillow for this blog. When you don't know what to make, make it into a pillow. In this case, it's all about the dog. Dog fabric, dog silhouette, wavy dog auras ... whatever you want! Just slap it on a pillow and you've got the perfect place to display your obvious love of the canine species. Though if you have pillows such as these in your home, you probably have a host of other dog, ah, crafts (that's the word I was looking for) all over as well.

Pink Elephant Girl

I see this pink elephant girl and all that's going through my mind is the 'Pink elephant' song from Dumbo. I won't attempt to try and figure out why there is an orange elephant trunk on her face, or an owl on her body. It doesn't even phase me that she has sort of a monkey body and an 'x' in the place of both her hands. What's really wigging me out are her eyes. The eyes are super detailed and embroidered nicely and then someone just went and threw all this other stuff together and sewed it with obvious stitches that's really distracting.

The best things about crafts

Do you know what I like best about crafts? They don't have to make any sense at all! Take puke, for a random example. Sure you can't (or can you?) make a craft out of it, but you can make some pillows spelling out P-U-K-E, put a couple of smiley faces on it and BOOM! you've got a craft worth showing off.
The maker of this cuteness says and I quote "Giving the gift of PUKE is always a great present for that friend/loved one with a quirky sense of humor." Yes. When all else fails, give the gift of puke.

Waste not, want not

Ugh. I think I just threw up a little. Just give me a second to recover ....

Okay, so this isn't exactly a craft that you can make at home or anything, but it was too good (meaning bad) to pass up. And I'm not a fashionista by a long shot, but I have never seen anything like this before; ever! I don't care if they are the real thing, or if they are just made to look like it, it's sick. Very, very sick.

And just to give you a little food for thought ... what kind of dress would one wear with these? I'm guessing it wouldn't matter much because once anyone sees those shoes they'll forget everything else entirely!

It's a bit nippy

"It is a bit nipply, I mean, nippy outside." If you've ever seen Christmas Vacation, then you know this quote, which goes perfectly with today's post. Though I think these pasties may be a bit to late, she's already turning blue! I know, I know, they aren't meant for outside use. So, do you think that yarn is sexy? Some one does ...

The Crochet World Continues to Amaze

It's still cold outside, and the snow is still falling outside my window.  I continue my search for something... anything that will keep my neck warm.  I have purchased hats, scarves, turtlenecks, but NOTHING is doing the trick!!  Luckily I came across this and will be purchasing it from etsy in the very near future.  Not only is it super warm... I kinda feel like it's looking at me.

Fanny pack

A new take on the fanny pack ... the crocheted Batman utility belt. Or that's what it looks like to me. I wonder how something as horrible as the fanny pack can still live through the ages in the all the forms that it has to end up as this monstrosity. And check out what's underneath the fanny pack! Should it be something for the bedroom only? Hmm ...

No, This Was NOT Made By Your Kindergartner

Yes, I found these beads for SALE on etsy.  I have no idea who would pay for these?  I would totally cherish them if they were made by my child, but to actually go online... see them... and go... YES I have to have those!  They would go perfect with my hot pink pants from 1984!

Panties

I think these are the ugliest things I've ever seen. Knit panties?! With ruffles? Doesn't sound sexy to me at all ... (hmm, what can I do to make my butt look bigger? How about ruffles all around my butt and thighs!) and even sounds a bit scratchy. This actually looks like those Barbie dresses that I had as a kid because I couldn't afford to get the store bought stuff. And that's not exactly a compliment.

Keep Your Wrists WARM!

Another treasure from my favorite friend... etsy.  Not only are these the most gorgeous wrist warmers ever, they are practical for use as a pot holder or doilies.  The lime green is just icing on the cake. 

Mmmm ... tasty

Okay, I'm not sure that this is exactly a horrible craft because it's put together very nice. I do, however, doubt why this craft was created in the first place. Seems like a lot of time for an April Fool's joke, hours and hours of work for one minute of entertainment. And I can't imagine keeping it on the table for decoration. Dunno. Either way, it does look pretty good. Maybe I'll have pancakes for dinner tonight.

Vegetable Garden... oops! I Mean Vegetable GARBAGE

Since I haven't posted in a while, I decided last night I needed to go looking for more bad crafts.  Etsy is just a treasure trove I tell you!  Not two minutes into my search I find these little beauties.  I was speaking with my blogging partner about them over IM, and it wasn't until she said that it looked like they were pooping garbage bags did I realize what they were!  The title of it was grocery bag holders, but I thought it meant the giant carrot was supposed to hold your groceries!  Shows you what I know.  Just reminds me of So I Married An Ax Murderer... "Excuse me I believe I ordered the LARGE Corn on the Cob... HELLO!"

"Peter, Peter the pumpkin eater ..."

This reminds me of the nursery rhyme that goes "Peter, Peter the pumpkin eater; Had a wife and couldn't keep her; He put her in a pumpkin shell; And there he kept her very well." She looks exactly as though she's been stuffed in a pumpkin shell. It must be the voluminous sweater that covers chest, waist, and thighs in it's massiveness and the horrid orange color. This thing is so huge that it even covers the pouch at her waist without an unsightly bulge! If you want to look as unfeminine at possible, this could be your chance.

Inappropriate bathroom decor?

It's the craft that someone probably made while using the bathroom, trying to utilize all their time into productive time. Which would explain why they just can't get their mind out of the toilet, literally. This crafter decided to make homemade toilet paper, just for decoration mind, and a little pile of poo. What you don't see in this picture is that the poo has a hole in the bottom so you can stuff it with potpourri. So that means that they must want this poo to be out in the open AND that they want to you smell it. Not my idea of good taste, but I'm sure that you would have a lot of people laughing and questioning you about it should you decide to go for this decor.

The Dark Side of crafting

I have been laughing hysterically every time I glimpse this photo. I love it for all the horrid crafting ingeniousness of it (aluminum Guinness cans) and for the person who put the worlds of Star Wars and crochet needles together at last. But mostly I love it for the man who would dare wear it and get his picture taken with it on. Can you imagine the conversation this would inspire?

"Luke, I am your father."

(Luke flushes with shame) "Dad, take that off. You're embarrassing me."

"Come on, I drank a lot for this. Show the helmet a little respect."

(Luke mumbles and walks away).

The Creep Factor Multiplies to the Nth Degree.

What do you get the serial killer that has everything?  A wreath of dead bodies!  This is still left over from the Christmas Decorations, but is just too good to pass up.  This craft is just wayyyyy too creepy.

Image found at www.zieak.com with credit to Ryan McFarland.  Submitted by Reader SLC.

For Women Only

We've brought you homemade sanitary pads and now we have found homemade tampons. You heard me. Homemade tampons. Wingnut submitted this photo to us and also posed an interesting question ... How do you get them in? The least of my worries since I'm not going to using them at all. Why? That's all I have to ask. Put your crochet/knitting talents to a better use.