Glitter Gone Bad - Tales of Crafts Gone Wrong

Kinda Defeats the Purpose

2010-06-13T20:53:00.000-07:00

Now this may fall under the "if a tree falls in the forest" category...

If glasses have no way of actually seeing through them, can they really be called glasses?

That's what I thought.

What Are They Smoking?

2010-06-09T23:34:00.000-07:00

I really have no idea what kind of decorations this could possibly be for? Perhaps an Alice in Wonderland themed home? Whatever the purpose, I think I'd like to have what they're having...

Summertime is Here

2010-06-08T22:13:00.001-07:00

Continuing with our food themed earings, we present the ice cream sandwich! Perfect for the creepy ice cream man carreening down the street with that super annoying music playing!

Best Ballet Slippers EVER!

2010-06-07T21:30:00.000-07:00

There's nothing I like finding more than some really great crochet! I could never imagine wearing these EVER. MAYBE I could deal with the shoe part, but the bow is what seriously puts it over the top!

Nothing says my parents can't afford real shoes like crochet'd ones!

Did Jared Get His Ears Pierced?

2010-06-06T21:53:00.000-07:00

Because if so, I've got the perfect earings for him! Someone THAT obsessed with Subway sandwiches needs to flaunt it ya know!

2010-06-03T22:27:00.000-07:00

Remember those tuxedo shirts so you could pretend that you are wearing a shirt when it's really just a bib. Welcome to the year 2010! Where bibs aren't just for babies anymore. Avoid those embarrassing spills with your own handy bib!

2010-06-02T22:48:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry, I know that I have no fashion sense... but I would NEVER and I mean NEVER EVER allow my son to be seen in something like this... from the horribly busy pattern to the "non-overalls" to the collar... this outfit just screams "My parents hate me"

Argghhh Matey!

2010-06-01T21:24:00.001-07:00

Hey baby, X marks the spot you know!

Orphan Annie Ain't Got Nothing On This

2010-05-31T21:41:00.000-07:00

Many things on this website have left me quite speechless. I really almost have nothing to say about this, other than who could POSSIBLY be the market for this?

The flower is actually very nice. I would totally buy that necklace. Then you've gotta go put some sort of severed barbie head inside a soda bottle cap? Yep, totally makes the necklace sooo much better!

The Hat

2010-05-30T22:13:00.001-07:00

Now I'm not sure what concerns me the most.... the strange mirror circles, the fact that the hat is made of GREEN Corduroy or the not quite matching colors. Oh, and don't even get me started on the shape.... just ummm... no.

Get a Handle On It

2010-05-20T22:26:00.001-07:00

According to the discription this is a "drawer pull" so like the handles to your drawers. I just want to know what the heck kind of kitchen decor you have for this to not clash with it? Cause really, I'm curious what that kitchen looks like.

Coat Hanger for the Nursery

2010-05-19T21:59:00.001-07:00

We continue our strange things that are mounted series... whaaaa??? Really??? I know we feature bad crafts, and there have been some doozies throughout our time here, but ... whaaaa??? Really????

Hey Timmy, ask for a snack one more time and you'll end up like your brother!

Look Out Thumper!

2010-05-18T22:24:00.001-07:00

One day long ago my sister-in-law walked into my sister's in-law's house and just about had a heart attack with all the dead stuffed animals mounted on the wall. She is a vegetarian, and a HUGE animal lover. Well, I know the PERFECT gift to give her now!

"But Annie... it's not a REAL bunnies head mounted to the wall!"

One day Trevor had enough with the squeaky toy, and felt it needed to die. Now it is on the wall as a warning to all other squeak toys, be loud and YOU'RE NEXT!

Just What Every Mompreneur Needs!

2010-05-17T22:14:00.000-07:00

These little business card cozies are just what EVERY working mother needs! I'm totally bringing one to BlogHer this year so everyone can see, that not only am I a super savvy working mom... I'm also 82 years old.

If You're Going to Spew, Spew Into This

2010-05-16T22:48:00.000-07:00

Weeeerrrreeeee BAAAACCCCKKKKK.... and better than ever, with a renewed sense of blogging fun! It only took, me about two seconds to find this little gem. It makes me think of a homemade Mother's Day gift gone horribly horribly wrong, but no, it's for sale! You too can buy your way into your Mother's heart. Who has time to put thought into these presents now-a-days anyway.

The Bronzed Cinnamon Roll!

2009-11-03T18:29:00.001-08:00

Honey, your rolls were just so darn good today I took one and had it bronzed. This wonderful treat can forever be remembered!

Frosty the Crazy Ornament, Was a Jolly Happy Soul

2009-11-02T18:58:00.001-08:00

“Psstt… hey you over there?”

“Uh HA HA HA.. UH HA HA HA… YEAH?”

“How is it that we are supposed to be snowmen when the only resemblance to a snow man is the fact that we are white with orange noses??… I mean WHERE THE HECK IS THE REST OF MY BODY??? How is anyone supposed to know I’m a SNOWMAN!”

“Uh HA HA HA… Uh HA HA HA….Who knows! UH HA HA HA HA HA HA”

“ugh… I mean really? since when do snowmen have pink cheeks? WE ARE MADE OF SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Uh HA HA HA… Uh HA HA HA….UH HA HA HA HA HA HA”

“Thanks buddy, you’ve been super helpful”

Contestant for ugliest hat

2009-09-24T12:43:00.000-07:00

So many ways to make fun of this craft--Princess Leia's hairstyle gone wild, a pillow tied to a baby's head, baby hammerhead shark ... I just don't know which one to go with. And do the rest of you see a little doo-hickey, mabobby at the top of the hat? What is up with that? Trying to make it more like an alien instead of a monster? The poor kid, he doesn't even know what's tied to his head or he wouldn't be looking so complacent.

Thanks to Shaylah D. for having enough sense to send this into us!

For the dogs

2009-09-02T09:23:00.000-07:00

Pillows probably make up more bad crafts that just about any other category (excepting knitting. Go Knitting!), so it's not really a surprise that we've got another pillow for this blog. When you don't know what to make, make it into a pillow. In this case, it's all about the dog. Dog fabric, dog silhouette, wavy dog auras ... whatever you want! Just slap it on a pillow and you've got the perfect place to display your obvious love of the canine species. Though if you have pillows such as these in your home, you probably have a host of other dog, ah, crafts (that's the word I was looking for) all over as well.

Pink Elephant Girl

2009-08-29T06:24:00.000-07:00

I see this pink elephant girl and all that's going through my mind is the 'Pink elephant' song from Dumbo. I won't attempt to try and figure out why there is an orange elephant trunk on her face, or an owl on her body. It doesn't even phase me that she has sort of a monkey body and an 'x' in the place of both her hands. What's really wigging me out are her eyes. The eyes are super detailed and embroidered nicely and then someone just went and threw all this other stuff together and sewed it with obvious stitches that's really distracting.

The best things about crafts

2009-08-28T06:15:00.000-07:00

Do you know what I like best about crafts? They don't have to make any sense at all! Take puke, for a random example. Sure you can't (or can you?) make a craft out of it, but you can make some pillows spelling out P-U-K-E, put a couple of smiley faces on it and BOOM! you've got a craft worth showing off.
The maker of this cuteness says and I quote "Giving the gift of PUKE is always a great present for that friend/loved one with a quirky sense of humor." Yes. When all else fails, give the gift of puke.

Waste not, want not

2009-03-31T14:57:00.000-07:00

Ugh. I think I just threw up a little. Just give me a second to recover ....

Okay, so this isn't exactly a craft that you can make at home or anything, but it was too good (meaning bad) to pass up. And I'm not a fashionista by a long shot, but I have never seen anything like this before; ever! I don't care if they are the real thing, or if they are just made to look like it, it's sick. Very, very sick.

And just to give you a little food for thought ... what kind of dress would one wear with these? I'm guessing it wouldn't matter much because once anyone sees those shoes they'll forget everything else entirely!

It's a bit nippy

2009-03-02T12:31:00.000-08:00

"It is a bit nipply, I mean, nippy outside." If you've ever seen Christmas Vacation, then you know this quote, which goes perfectly with today's post. Though I think these pasties may be a bit to late, she's already turning blue! I know, I know, they aren't meant for outside use. So, do you think that yarn is sexy? Some one does ...

The Crochet World Continues to Amaze

2009-02-17T14:30:00.001-08:00

It's still cold outside, and the snow is still falling outside my window. I continue my search for something... anything that will keep my neck warm. I have purchased hats, scarves, turtlenecks, but NOTHING is doing the trick!! Luckily I came across this and will be purchasing it from etsy in the very near future. Not only is it super warm... I kinda feel like it's looking at me.

Fanny pack

2009-02-11T14:37:00.000-08:00

A new take on the fanny pack ... the crocheted Batman utility belt. Or that's what it looks like to me. I wonder how something as horrible as the fanny pack can still live through the ages in the all the forms that it has to end up as this monstrosity. And check out what's underneath the fanny pack! Should it be something for the bedroom only? Hmm ...

No, This Was NOT Made By Your Kindergartner

2009-01-30T06:48:00.001-08:00

Yes, I found these beads for SALE on etsy. I have no idea who would pay for these? I would totally cherish them if they were made by my child, but to actually go online... see them... and go... YES I have to have those! They would go perfect with my hot pink pants from 1984!

Panties

2009-01-27T12:33:00.000-08:00

I think these are the ugliest things I've ever seen. Knit panties?! With ruffles? Doesn't sound sexy to me at all ... (hmm, what can I do to make my butt look bigger? How about ruffles all around my butt and thighs!) and even sounds a bit scratchy. This actually looks like those Barbie dresses that I had as a kid because I couldn't afford to get the store bought stuff. And that's not exactly a compliment.

Keep Your Wrists WARM!

2009-01-26T07:57:00.001-08:00

Another treasure from my favorite friend... etsy. Not only are these the most gorgeous wrist warmers ever, they are practical for use as a pot holder or doilies. The lime green is just icing on the cake.

Mmmm ... tasty

2009-01-21T12:34:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm not sure that this is exactly a horrible craft because it's put together very nice. I do, however, doubt why this craft was created in the first place. Seems like a lot of time for an April Fool's joke, hours and hours of work for one minute of entertainment. And I can't imagine keeping it on the table for decoration. Dunno. Either way, it does look pretty good. Maybe I'll have pancakes for dinner tonight.

Vegetable Garden... oops! I Mean Vegetable GARBAGE

2009-01-20T07:39:00.001-08:00

Since I haven't posted in a while, I decided last night I needed to go looking for more bad crafts. Etsy is just a treasure trove I tell you! Not two minutes into my search I find these little beauties. I was speaking with my blogging partner about them over IM, and it wasn't until she said that it looked like they were pooping garbage bags did I realize what they were! The title of it was grocery bag holders, but I thought it meant the giant carrot was supposed to hold your groceries! Shows you what I know. Just reminds me of So I Married An Ax Murderer... "Excuse me I believe I ordered the LARGE Corn on the Cob... HELLO!"

"Peter, Peter the pumpkin eater ..."

2009-01-19T06:43:00.000-08:00

This reminds me of the nursery rhyme that goes "Peter, Peter the pumpkin eater; Had a wife and couldn't keep her; He put her in a pumpkin shell; And there he kept her very well." She looks exactly as though she's been stuffed in a pumpkin shell. It must be the voluminous sweater that covers chest, waist, and thighs in it's massiveness and the horrid orange color. This thing is so huge that it even covers the pouch at her waist without an unsightly bulge! If you want to look as unfeminine at possible, this could be your chance.

Inappropriate bathroom decor?

2009-01-15T12:06:00.000-08:00

It's the craft that someone probably made while using the bathroom, trying to utilize all their time into productive time. Which would explain why they just can't get their mind out of the toilet, literally. This crafter decided to make homemade toilet paper, just for decoration mind, and a little pile of poo. What you don't see in this picture is that the poo has a hole in the bottom so you can stuff it with potpourri. So that means that they must want this poo to be out in the open AND that they want to you smell it. Not my idea of good taste, but I'm sure that you would have a lot of people laughing and questioning you about it should you decide to go for this decor.

The Dark Side of crafting

2009-01-10T06:28:00.000-08:00

I have been laughing hysterically every time I glimpse this photo. I love it for all the horrid crafting ingeniousness of it (aluminum Guinness cans) and for the person who put the worlds of Star Wars and crochet needles together at last. But mostly I love it for the man who would dare wear it and get his picture taken with it on. Can you imagine the conversation this would inspire?

"Luke, I am your father."

(Luke flushes with shame) "Dad, take that off. You're embarrassing me."

"Come on, I drank a lot for this. Show the helmet a little respect."

(Luke mumbles and walks away).

The Creep Factor Multiplies to the Nth Degree.

2009-01-08T06:58:00.001-08:00

What do you get the serial killer that has everything? A wreath of dead bodies! This is still left over from the Christmas Decorations, but is just too good to pass up. This craft is just wayyyyy too creepy.

Image found at www.zieak.com with credit to Ryan McFarland. Submitted by Reader SLC.

For Women Only

2009-01-03T11:16:00.000-08:00

We've brought you homemade sanitary pads and now we have found homemade tampons. You heard me. Homemade tampons. Wingnut submitted this photo to us and also posed an interesting question ... How do you get them in? The least of my worries since I'm not going to using them at all. Why? That's all I have to ask. Put your crochet/knitting talents to a better use.

Happy New Year = New Birth... Right?

2008-12-31T08:09:00.001-08:00

This was submitted by Reader Lily and Reader Cheryl at almost the same exact time! And just NO!!!! They say it's currently up on etsy for sale RIGHT NOW!! Quick while they are still available! Go get the perfect baby shower gift! Show that Mom to be what she's going to be in for! My question is do they also have a c-section doll? Cause that's the one I need.

TP cozy

2008-12-29T12:14:00.000-08:00

You've talked about them, hinted about sending in pictures of them, and now I've got one! A genuine toilet paper cozy! It's classic grandma with the doll, tons of pink everywhere and the need to cover all surfaces of the house with yarn. This one is even sitting on a crocheted doily! So next time you're visiting grandma's house and you need a new roll of toilet paper, just look for it under something that's been crocheted.

Merry Christmas To All!

2008-12-24T16:15:00.001-08:00

This Christmas tree was submitted by Reader Lisa! This is DEFINITELY the ultimate in redneck Christmas decorations. That or a college student. I will admit though that it had to take FOREVER! Totally reminds me of the "Beer Wall" my friends in college had. If you knocked it over there was not happy consequences!

Toenails Gone Bad

2008-12-22T07:04:00.001-08:00

Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for cute little flowers and glitter on your toes, but full on snow scenes? Really?? Who is going to get close enough to actually see the artwork? Who would WANT to get close enough to see. Plus... It's WINTER... put on some socks! It's cold out there!

Budget ornaments

2008-12-19T13:42:00.000-08:00

Firstly let me say that if you have any children in elementary school or younger, this absolutely BELONGS on your tree. It's one of those rite of passage things. However, if you do not, I don't care how small your budget is for ornaments, you should not be making them out of empty toilet paper rolls. Yes, I know that you can make all sorts of cute things like Santa Claus, snowmen, toy soldiers, etc., but please look for decorations in other rooms besides the bathroom.

Redneck Christmas Tree

2008-12-18T06:26:00.001-08:00

Reader Leah of mommyish.net submitted this just last night, and it was so great I just had to post it today (even though I have other great submissions in my inbox!)

"Hey Billy Bob, what should we use as ornaments this year?"

"Hmmm... Besty Jo, what about these beer cans?"

"Billy Bob! We did that last year! We can't do it again until NEXT year!"

"Ok, I've got some extra cars in the yard here, why don't we use the headlights?"

"Or... THE WHEELS!"

"Oh Betsy Jo, I'm so glad your my wife/cousin!"

Dressing up candles

2008-12-16T06:26:00.000-08:00

Hark! The angry choirboys sing?! Not to sure about the appeal of this craft. Looks like if I want to light the candle (aka his head), he's going to bite me. I did mention that this was a candle? Aren't you supposed to keep flammables away from flames? So why is this candle sitting on a stand covered in fabric?

There's No Place Like Under the Sea

2008-12-15T13:49:00.001-08:00

So... um.... yeah. Thanks Reader Jill for submitting a site with some wonderful gems like this! There are definitely more, but you'll just have to wait for them! I definitely debated over titles for this post, one being "Be careful or she'll drop a fish on you too!" Um, Sarah? Wasn't that supposed to be HOUSE not fish? Yes, yes it was... Or there was "Walking around on those? What do you call them? Oh FEET!" I do like what I went with though.

More toilet seat art

2008-12-11T12:32:00.000-08:00

I don't know what it is, but I'm fascinated with toilet seat art. I never thought of this piece of furniture adding so much to my decor. Here's a bit of potty humor with Santa falling through the toilet seat, which now that I think about it is really odd. Isn't Santa supposed to be ... pleasantly plump? Just how did he get down there? And is it really so far down to the bottom that he needs to clutch to the edges of the seat?

Ode to a Dog

2008-12-10T06:45:00.001-08:00

Oh Fluffy, how we miss you. You will forever live on in ornament form so our family will never be far from you (except the other 11 months of the year). Cause really, everyone should have a portrait of their dog on their tree.

Crochet gone wild

2008-12-09T11:55:00.000-08:00

I suppose the idea is good--keep your young and small children warm during the cold weather. And you'll be able to snap their belts without having bulky jackets or blankets to deal with. But I think that it could be better. When I think of crochet or knitting or whatever this is, I don't think warm and cuddly. I see holes and feel drafts. In this crochet nightmare the maker was either trying to make it unisex or disguise all the stains this is going to get. Did I mention that you can get a matching hat to complete the ensemble? Looks more like a clown costume to me.

Inside the Mind Of a Bad Crafter

2008-12-08T06:36:00.001-08:00

"What can I do to really make this ornament special? OK, I need it to sparkle and shine... tinsel! OK, where can I put the tinsel... well... it's not working on the outside, it just kind of hangs there, hmmm.... OH! Inside is perfect! Now that the outside is bare, we can't have that! Everyone likes flowers right? Oh good. It's sooooo beautiful now!

Be Creative

2008-12-06T06:06:00.000-08:00

Here's a creative ornament (ha ha). I assume that this is a giant beehive or else I'm supposed to use creative thinking to figure this one out. But an ornament is not an ornament unless it has pom poms on it. Wait! I do see some glittery pom poms! This is a real ornament!

Do You Hear The Bells On Christmas Day?

2008-12-05T07:06:00.001-08:00

Reader Sue Ann sent in some wonderful pictures from a craft fair of some sort that she went to. We'll be featuring a few of them over the next couple days. This is my favorite, cause I just love stuff that you have no idea what it's really supposed to be. Eyes? Mountains? Boobs? You decide! Every time a bell rings, a crafter gets ideas for ugly things!

By Extremely Popular Demand.... The Pad Slippers

2008-12-02T06:58:00.001-08:00

We must have received this submission about 30 + times! Thank you to everyone for thinking of us when this arrived in your inbox. For those who haven't seen these little gems before... I only have really one thing to say about them... At least they aren't painted red.

On a totally separate note, for our craft loving friends, Ailene and I have some friends that are going through a hard time... The Barkdull family has been awaiting Matt's kidney transplant for a while because of various complications. He has been on dialysis for a long time which has created its own hardships. He always has a great attitude through all of his medical problems. You would never even know that he is sick. It looks like the kidney transplant is going to happen after Christmas at the end of December or first of January. Matt will obviously have to take some time off to recovery and it will be a difficult time for the entire family. Our friend has set up an etsy shop to sell various crafts that are very cute (and not at all made of any feminine hygiene products). Please visit the shop by clicking here and pick some cute things up to help a family.

All proceeds from purchases between December 1st and 31st will go directly to the family to help pay for transplant costs and expenses.

Redneck Christmas

2008-12-01T09:18:00.000-08:00

For all the men out there, here's something that you can be proud to hang on your tree. Empty shotgun shells that have been recycled and put to a new use--as Christmas lights! You've got both red and white; so festive! And there's nothing better than having the these casings strung over the mantlepiece under a nativity scene or on the tree with your wife's antique ornaments. Make it your newest family tradition!

WAIT! Don't Carve THAT Bird!

2008-11-27T06:57:00.001-08:00

This lovely craft was submitted by reader Allyson. This is just wrong on so many levels! First when I'm eating my Thanksgiving Turkey I really don't want to think about checking for a child underneath! Why would you put your baby through the pain of wondering if it's going to be eaten too? Poor baby!

Turkey hat

2008-11-26T15:00:00.000-08:00

This is reminiscent of the cat on the hat post I made earlier this year. Someone must have a lot of spare straw hats laying around. If you've made a cat hat and you still have extra, make a turkey hat! True, you can only keep this decoration up for less than a month, but I guarantee that people will notice it. And, incidentally, does this turkey have an afro wig or is it just me?

Turkey on fire

2008-11-25T07:44:00.000-08:00

I've seen all sorts of vegetable turkeys made from apples, potatoes and pumpkins. So the fact that this is a pumpkin turkey isn't that strange. I guess the unused pumpkins need to be used somehow and better on the table than blown to bits by teenagers. What sets this one apart is that the feathers are actually long taper candles. So before sitting down to dinner you can light this turkey on fire and watch his beautiful "feathers" grow shorter and shorter. Just hope that one doesn't take it literally that all turkeys are supposed to be cooked or ignited.

Finally, A Thanksgiving Centerpiece to be Proud Of!

2008-11-24T06:46:00.001-08:00

Since I wanted you to be able to get a head start on creating this centerpiece I had to post it today. Of course this is made out of painted tampons. What holiday table would be complete without feminine hygiene products intermingled with all the yummy tasty food. Cause it TOTALLY doesn't ruin my appetite, right?

WWED?

2008-11-22T09:11:00.000-08:00

Whoa! I completely forgot that time was supposed to come to a standstill because a certain movie came out today!! Yeah, I'm talking about Twilight. Let me get to the point. I'm not a crazy, obsessed fan. I read the books, liked the books just fine and will continue my life as normal from here on out. I won't be naming my future children 'Bella,' 'Edward' or 'Jacob,' I won't be getting a tattoo, or multiple tattoos, of phrases from the book or of the actors who portrayed the characters and I certainly won't be getting or making the craft I have featured here. These shoes, and the creator has several different kinds, are just a step above obsessive. It's not wearing your heart on your sleeve, but on your feet. And I don't know about the rest of you, but I step in some pretty gross things throughout my day. The collage of phrases, pictures and hearts are just too much for me and looking at this makes me just a bit sick. Good luck to the rest of you and just one bit of advice. If you are going to make a craft for Twilight/Edward, just ask yourself 'WWED [What would Edward do]?' 'cause I guarantee he won't be wearing these shoes!!

Open Turkey season!

2008-11-20T07:35:00.000-08:00

Because I have so many wonderful Thanksgiving crafts, I thought I would begin a week early so that every one of them has a chance to shine before the Big Day. This look like a glove probably filled with gelatin that, according to the site where I picked it up, was supposed to be unmolded from the glove and stood on end. But things didn't go as planned. But either way it's a good thing for us because it's a truly terrible Thanksgiving centerpiece. I especially love the label--I wouldn't have known without it!

Birds of a Feather

2008-11-19T09:30:00.001-08:00

I was going to save this little gem until December (it being a wreath and all), but I decorated my house for Christmas yesterday, and thought it was fitting. This was submitted by a reader (and I apologize, because I can't remember which one). I believe the reader stated that this was at a friends house! I'm sorry reader that you have very strange friends. So lets get to the actual wreath.... ummm... first there is a full on BIRD sitting in it! A BIRD people! Not to mention the color or the generous use of feathers. I weep to think how many birds had to suffer for this person to have such a wreath.

Specialty toilet paper

2008-11-18T12:04:00.001-08:00

So it's not exactly making your own toilet paper (but I bet there is a crafty person out there that has) but it's really close. It's making your plain toilet paper into something really special! You can create all sorts of phrases to really make your toilet paper an integral part of your bathroom. Something that people will be talking about, say, around the Thanksgiving table like the example above. Maybe you could emblazon your toilet paper to say things like "Your home for the holidays" or "Let it go, let it go, let it go." Can you see all the possibilities!? They are endless!

Washing in style

2008-11-14T06:46:00.000-08:00

Washing after the family is never a glamourous job ... Until now! Turn those icky, yellow scrubbing gloves into some fashionable. Laura B., who sent in this little number, points out that the fabric on the end is a plastic shower curtain and who wouldn't love the darling rickrack! And these can be made to suit anyone's taste! And after you're all done cleaning, why not leave them out near the sink to show off how well they match your kitchen's decor.

If Someone Can Figure This Out ... I'm Impressed!

2008-11-13T12:09:00.001-08:00

Really? I have no idea what this is even supposed to be?? I keep trying to figure it out and I keep coming up short. It has hands, this I know.... and possibly some legs? There is just nothing I can figure out about the rest of it. Please I beg you! Put me out of my misery and tell me what it is (or supposed to be I guess).

No Free Hand Outs!

2008-11-11T06:20:00.001-08:00

While I must admit that I'm impressed with the handiwork (pardon the pun), It's still pretty darn ugly. This, among many other food art items was sent in to us by reader Janet. Because, you know, when I'm eating bread, I like to pretend it's a human hand.

Blast from the past

2008-11-08T11:34:00.000-08:00

Are you an old-fashioned kind of woman? Want a one-of-a-kind experience that you'll never forget? Try these homemade sanitary pads! They're made from soft flannel and are designed to handle light, normal and heavy flows. It's safe for the environment, comes it all sorts of fashionable prints and colors and is (probably) a lot softer. Sold on it yet?

Hmm. Not me. Firstly I do not trust myself to make something that would be critical to me not being embarrassed during that special time. This is one craft that cannot go wrong. At all. And how about cleaning up? Yech! Can you imagine bringing plastic baggies to haul these babies home and getting them cleaned up for the next day? So, though I'm all for being a bit greener, I'm going to stick to disposable feminine hygiene and I don't feel guilty about that at all.

Thanks Kathy W. for sending this in!

Forget Your 4 Shirts: Make ONE!

2008-11-07T06:32:00.001-08:00

Because I know we are all looking to consolidate our closets, now we have the solution. Take the shirts and make one really weird looking one! The sad thing is the shirts she destroyed actually look pretty cute, the one she made... not so much. There is just so much wrong with this craft it's hard to know where to begin! First there is the ruffle at the bottom. Is she going for a really short mini skirt look? What is the point? Then you have the vest looking thing which is then attached to solid pink sleeves. Lastly to top it off... to give you the best idea of the fashion sense is the pants chosen to accompany the "shirt"... couldn't find some blue jeans? Decided to go for the clash.... OK.

Skull art

2008-11-06T11:53:00.000-08:00

I know that we've talked about skull art as appropriate for Day of the Dead, but I'm not sure about this. A real skull off some who-knows-what rodent and embellished with a bow? Eh ... no. Though I think what really makes it great are the two big front teeth that are visible. What do you think?

In Honor Of Yesterday's Election

2008-11-05T06:30:00.001-08:00

This fabulous wreath is the perfect capper to the huge turnout of voters yesterday. It looks like someone took parts of a really foofy wedding dress and added some stars. Not only are they stars though, they are stars WITHIN the stars! Genius! I really don't get the circle within the star though, that may be a bit much, and really serve no purpose.

The incredible wearable egg

2008-11-04T20:15:00.000-08:00

And again this is another accessory that I can't imagine why someone would want to wear. Is there a lovely bacon and pancake sweater to match? Did your grandmother always fix you fried eggs and maybe this is the perfect reminder of her? I don't get it and won't be wearing any eggs around my neck anytime soon.

Glove? Purse? You Decide

2008-11-03T06:52:00.001-08:00

Ahhh, older ladies strike again, as these are the only type of women that would even think of this strange looking purse. The hand is complete with nail polish, a wedding ring, and a handkerchief! It doesn't look large enough to actually hold anything, and would anybody really even CARRY this around. Wow! What a lovely hand you have there! Ugh, just wrong!

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-31T08:42:00.001-07:00

And what better way to celebrate than with the craft that just goes too far. These ghosts are easy to make and easy to hang since they already come with strings. Need another hint? They aren't found in the seasonal Halloween department, try looking in the feminine hygiene aisle. Got it? Yeah, I think it's pretty gross too. Enjoy your Halloween! And thanks to Natalie for sending it in!

A Contest After My Own Heart

2008-10-30T06:44:00.001-07:00

Reader Natalie W. (also the owner of Chicken Coop Crafts (ad on the left!)) submitted this page to us. It is an ugliest pillow contest! While I couldn't copy ALL of the wonderfully ugly pillows, I did pick my absolute favorite. First is the hideously large mushrooms. Now if that wasn't enough there are the HUGE yarn balls on the four corners. I fear the room that this pillow is supposed to go with! Someone MUST have been high when creating this!

Ugly Halloween sweater

2008-10-29T06:08:00.000-07:00

What's worse than an ugly Christmas sweater? A Halloween one! Why would one think to do the background in lime green? Was there a sale on green or is it that black might not show off the dangling feet of the pumpkins, which are, of course, the best thing about it. Watch out librarians and grade school teachers .... there's another holiday to celebrate with an ugly sweater! If you see any of these tragedies, please send us pictures!

More Disgusting Art

2008-10-28T07:10:00.001-07:00

Hide the kiddos today....I thought I'd continue the condom crafts with this little gem sent in by Cindy A. I know that when my husband and I get into a fight, I would just love a bouquet of these instead of beautiful red roses. This is just sooo much better, right?? At least they attempted to hide the tip, right? In the immortal words of Joey Tribiani... "EW! EW EW EW!"

Hair elastics

2008-10-27T08:13:00.000-07:00

This hair elastic, shown mostly unfinished, is made from a condom. You can make them yourself! Since condoms are very elastic, someone seemed to think that they would make great hair elastics (don't know how they made that connection). China is already starting to manufacture them from condoms that don't pass final inspection. Guess that's another great way to recycle!

More Recycling Madness

2008-10-25T06:38:00.001-07:00

Again, we go just a little bit too far in our efforts to go "green". Every time you pick up your kids they will start craving Caprisun, and wonder why you are holding out on them (since you clearly have plenty to share). Next time I'm taking a drink I'll have to think to myself ... but will this make a good bag?

Unidentifiable squeaky toy

2008-10-23T17:44:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Katie C. who found this treasure. It's labeled as a squeaky toy and that's about all I can figure out as well. It's a bit horse-like, but then maybe it's camel because of the lump on it's back. Or maybe it doesn't matter because it's a dog toy ...? Whatever it is, it's ugly and definitely deserves to be mentioned here.

Mp3 What?

2008-10-22T07:24:00.001-07:00

A new low has been reached in electronic gear. The one thing I'm worried about is where do the headphones plug in? Please don't tell me in the back! The other thing that I don't GET about this little gem is why does it have green legs? Really? could you not make the whole thing white? Or at least somewhat resembling an actual animal instead of some animal that has been running through green paint recently (or worse has had a horrible injury that has left him with gangrene)

More object dress-up

2008-10-21T12:51:00.000-07:00

These lighters are in the Halloween costume, ready to light some jack o' lanterns! I actually found these on a site that suggested they be used for weddings. I suppose a good wedding isn't complete without a few fires. My favorite is the one on the far left. She seems to be busting out of her costume. Maybe she would be more at home on the honeymoon-- or a bar.

The Halloween Horror Continues...

2008-10-20T07:01:00.001-07:00

Who knows what terrible accident this stuffed dog? has endured. It was tragic though for sure. What I don't get about this animal is, again, the market? Who in their right mind would give this to a child? Here is the scenario I picture...What happened to fluffy Mommy?... Here honey, this is an image of what has happened to your dog. I'm sorry. Poor child will be scarred for life.

Severed finger pen

2008-10-17T05:12:00.000-07:00

I know that Halloween is coming up soon and that everyone is decorating the homes, yards and offices with all sorts of hideous things. What's really annoying are those that take holiday decorating to the extreme. If a regular Joe decorates the yard with a few headstones and pumpkins, the Halloween extremist decorates every inch of the yard down to the last leaf. I like to think that this craft belongs to the Halloween extremists. I don't think that pens need to be decorated to show holiday spirit, but I'm sure that there are some out there that do. To each his own.

I Apologize in Advance

2008-10-16T09:16:00.001-07:00

OK, I'm sorry, I had to do it. I know many of you actually love this look, but I totally hate it. Not the baby of course. The baby is super duper cute! It's the monstrosity sitting atop the baby's head. It is almost the entire size of the baby's face! I can think of better ways to prove that my child is a girl, and I'm not that creative, than a giant flower getting ready to eat her face. Again, I'm sorry for those that love this, I've been silent about it for way too long! I must speak out against babies with giant flowers attached to their heads!

Not what it appears

2008-10-15T10:07:00.000-07:00

Yeah, it looks just like that, doesn't it? And laid out so prettily on a blue plate probably in the middle of a beautiful table. I don't know about you, but if I find poo in the living room, I blame the dog or my kids and remove it immediately. So, if you were wondering, it's mashed up and melted crayons that were painted to look like this ON PURPOSE. Take that in. Someone wanted this to look like poo on purpose. I don't know why anyone would want to showcase poo, but if you do, now you know the secret of how to make it. I mean, how to make it more hygenic for display. You should probably continue to throw out those made by the dog and toddlers.

Tech Meets Crafts

2008-10-14T08:41:00.001-07:00

I'm a very techy person. I know computer components very well. This is WAY too far. Again with people trying to clothe things that do not need clothing! I would be willing to say this one even goes a little too far simply because the cooler you keep computer parts the better they will work over time. You don't want to WARM them up!! Plus.... it's really ugly. :)

World's ugliest necklace

2008-10-13T08:03:00.000-07:00

Oh yes, the world's ugliest necklace. Doll heads. And there actually seems to have been some thought put into it because of the way the heads go from small to big. I think the beads in between each head really add some class. Like big purple tumors growing in the sides of each head. Can't get any uglier than this!

Cause October Means Scary!

2008-10-10T08:11:00.001-07:00

Now I don't know about you, but in October I'm not really looking for pumpkin snowmen (or women due to the long "hair"). I'm thinking this person just doesn't want anyone to cross the bridge because if I saw those on my way somewhere, I'd probably turn and run the other way!

Unusual ski mask

2008-10-09T12:16:00.000-07:00

This is perfect for those days when you just didn't have any time to put on any makeup in the morning. It would look much nicer, instead of the garish colors and patterns on the one above, if it was stitched to look like you did have makeup on! Think of all the time you could save! No need to even wash your hair! And it would work for men too. Stitch one to look as though you are clean shaven. Even better would be one with tons of hair. Just make the yarn on the top to cover a bit more area and have it match your own hair color. It's perfect!

Just in Case You Didn't Smell Enough Like Smoke

2008-10-08T12:56:00.001-07:00

These handy earrings can get you through your down time between smokes. If you get REALLY desperate, I'm sure you could just light one up instead. Then you'd have to make your earrings all over again though, so watch out. Really though? REALLY?? Cigarette earrings? The world really has lost it.

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's ...

2008-10-07T09:14:00.000-07:00

LINT!? For heaven's sake, people, lint scultpures?! Just looking at it makes me feel itchy all over. Thank goodness it's not a sweater or something. Wait, did I just give the crafties more ideas on how to use their dryer lint?

Put DOWN the Craft Jewels

2008-10-06T06:52:00.001-07:00

The main thing that frightens me about this "cell phone" is that I would seriously cut myself while trying to answer/talk on the phone. I'm not only a craft klutz, I'm a real honest to goodness fully qualified klutz. People would start thinking I got a cat from all the scratches that would end up on my face as a result of talking on this "phone" Really the only thing left to say about this particular craft is... enough is enough! Put the glue DOWN!

Fruit overalls

2008-10-03T06:20:00.000-07:00

Choosing just one title for this was difficult. I had a lot of ideas. Like "Needles gone wild" or "'G' rated pear." Or "'G' rated or G-string?" What do you think of "Pear porn" or "End pear nakedness!"

So obviously this person knit something for every person, animal and soap dispenser in the house and decided that the fruit was next. Be careful naked furniture, accessories and knick-knacks! You'll be next ...

Jamie's Practicing Voodoo

2008-10-02T07:03:00.001-07:00

Reader Jamie submitted today's craft! This is one thing I was really looking forward to on this blog, someone who tried to copy the picture of something and had it turn out horribly horribly wrong. This is the corn husk doll disaster of 2007. She says that her's turned out like voodoo dolls, and I couldn't agree more! They are straight out of the Blair Witch Project. So thank you Jamie for being as completely uncrafty as I am! A for effort!

Hey! Watch where you point that thing!

2008-10-01T08:29:00.000-07:00

By looking at the shape of this hat maybe those with ponytails will find this hat particularly attractive. I can't think of another reason why this hat would have a defined point in the back. And don't get me started on the owl! Why an owl, I don't know. And it seems as though the mastermind of this hat couldn't even bear to model it herself. She had to get a mannequin head to keep her identity safe.

Glitter Gone to the Dogs

2008-09-30T07:40:00.001-07:00

If you can't tell this wonderful dog (or is it a cat? deer?) is first COVERED in glitter... Second... ummm FLOWERS for EYES? WHAA??? I really don't see in any world where flowers used for eyes is a good idea. OK, I take that back, the rose parade is allowed. Lastly, we must address the "collar" A piece of plastic plant as the collar? Plus the green of the collar completely clashes with the rest of the craft! Enjoy the horror!

Rock a bye baby

2008-09-29T06:57:00.000-07:00

Nothing says "I love babies" more than punching a metal rod through their bellies and attaching them to chains, letting them swing all day long from the ears. Did I mention that they are also naked and upside down? There's just something that I don't like about these earrings, but maybe you already have the perfect outfit for these.

Our Trip to the Beach

2008-09-26T07:32:00.001-07:00

What self respecting craft blog would be complete without the shell box? I will admit that as a child I LOVED things like this. I also loved collecting every single shell on the beach though. (I now feel bad for my parents for the rocks/shells I used to bring home... seriously what are you going to do with all of those things?) Really though, as an adult where could this possibly go in your house? What decor would match this work of art? I'd be afraid of poking myself anytime I picked it up. Quick someone call a doctor, cause the beach just threw up all over a perfectly fine box.

Shark around your neck

2008-09-25T06:36:00.000-07:00

I imagine that this woman gets many comments on her choice of jewelry, but I don't think that they are compliments. It's wrong for so many reasons. First, the shark is from a Lego set. Yeah, Legos. I don't normally browse through the toy section to find pieces for jewelry. Secondly, that's a plastic Snickers bars. Granted the craft would be much uglier if the candy were real, but why wear plastic candy, especially one with such a large label? Thirdly, those two horrible reasons are combined into one craft! And I have other questions ... why would a shark, plastic or otherwise, eat a candy bar? Why is the candy bar nearly as big as the shark? Just how low does her shirt need to be to showcase this cool necklace? And does that make this necklace more sexy?

Another Science Experiment

2008-09-24T06:54:00.001-07:00

When I was in high school I refused to do any of the cutting and what not during biology. Not that I was "against" the whole thing or anything like that, I just don't do well with medical type stuff. I can't watch someone get a shot, I can't hear about someone's surgery (I don't know how I survived a c-section). Anyway, back to the craft at hand... PLEASE tell me this was a science project? Or perhaps a gift for that professor friend of yours that has everything. Either way, someone's got a sick sense of style!

For cold weather

2008-09-23T12:54:00.000-07:00

When the weather starts to turn a little cold, I pull out my, er, fingerless gloves. No, wait, my arm warmers. Or are these, um, imaginary muscles? Nevertheless, I suggest you get some too. Nothing says stylin' like short sleeves and these puffy knitted things. Keep your fingers exposed for more important things. Like blogging.

WHAT is she Wearing?

2008-09-22T14:40:00.001-07:00

So this particular craft caught my attention because well... have you SEEN it? There are so many things wrong with this... we'll have to start at the top. What kind of "hat" is that? It doesn't look like anything anyone would wear ever. Then the strange ribbon that wraps around not only the hat but the neck, waist AND hips. She looks like she's being burned at the stake by a variety of flowers with her hands tied behind her back. Totally how I want to celebrate 4th of July... or Bastille Day... you decide.

Carnival clown

2008-09-20T06:57:00.000-07:00

This is goes from ugly to bordering on creepy. Maybe it's the huge head that's looking off to the side or the small arms with obvious screws in the shoulders which are holding a carvnival ticket. Clowns, if that is what this is, give me the willies. And with good reason. All those movies, not to mention Scooby Doo episodes, with demented clowns and such. Yikes. Maybe this would make a good Halloween decoration because there is no way that is hanging on my wall year round.

If the Tie Fits...

2008-09-19T06:42:00.001-07:00

What do you do with your husbands ties? ....

make PANTIES of course! Cause during those intimate moments you know you want your husband to say, "hey, those remind me of your Grandpa's funeral!" Have you held a tie? They are usually made of pretty thick fabric. I just don't see how that could be comfortable to wear! So raid your husbands closet today and make yourself some intimate apparel from your husband's favorite tie! I'm sure he'll just love it.